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How to Write David Sedaris

Monday, November 6th, 2017

Theft by Finding by David SedarisWant to write New York Times bestselling author David Sedaris?

Here’s how:

David Sedaris
c/o Little, Brown & Company
Hachette Book Group
1290 Ave. of the Americas
New York, NY 10104

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In his new book, ‘Theft by Finding: Diaries 1977-2002,’ Sedaris says he once asked his students to write fan letters:

September 26, 1989
Chicago

“I asked my beginning writing students to compose fan letters. Most were sincere in the way I hoped they’d be, but one kid’s amounted to hate mail and was addressed to his mother. He wrote about being shirt out of her cunt. Then he reminded her that he was not her fucking boyfriend, and on and on. Afterward no one knew what to say. My fan letter was to Joy Williams.”

Four years later, Sedaris fantasizes about a dream job in New York City:

February, 10, 1992
New York

“Admin Asst Dream Job
WORK FOR A STAR Gal/Guy Friday
all around exec asst.

Answer fan mail.
Admin duties. Lite typing.
MADEMOISELLE 16 E 40th St”

“I saw this in the New York Times and thought, Honestly, that is my dream job – answering fan mail at Mademoiselle magazine. I shaved, threw on clean clothes, and went to apply, not feeling intimidated the way I normally do but thinking, ‘Out of my way. This is mine. I supposed I wondered who at the magazine got fan mail, but it didn’t really matter. Whatever the letter, I’d answer it.”

Soon, Sedaris receives his own fan mail:

June 21, 1992
New York

“A few weeks back, my Interview Magazine mention came out, and this morning I received a postcard reading ‘Dear Mr. Sedaris, You are very cute and I love what you have to say about the world. It is a crazy place, but you make it well worth it. Your admirer, Jean Snyder.’ ‘The card is just what I needed,’ he says. ‘It’s nutty, sure, but how nice to know that some stranger is thinking of me.”

Ten years later, Sedaris’s publisher, Little, Brown & Company forwards him a batch of fan mail while living in France:

March 9, 2002
La Bagotiere, France

“Little, Brown forwarded an envelope of mail, and I realized after reading it over that every single letter wanted something from me. The senders included:

  • a college student writing an article on magazine readership. ‘I’m on a deadline so email me as soon as you get this!
  • a Cleveland man who’s written a gay travel guide and wants my help finding an agent.
  • an Indianapolis human rights group wanting me to attend their rally. ‘Your agent says you haven’t got the time, but I suspect you do.’
  • a Seattle drama group asking for an essay on how theater has changed my life.
  • three Nashville High School students assigned to read a bestseller and write the author with questions such as ‘Have you written any other books? Where do you get your ideas?
  • a German woman writing her PHD on the role of the diary in contemporary American fiction. She too is on a deadline and asks that I call her Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday, trying several times per night until I reach her.
  • a gay choral group asking for mementos they might auction off at their upcoming fund-raiser, Life Is a Cabaret.

It’s interesting how at first, as a struggling writer, Sedaris looks forward to receiving fan mail, hoping to both receive it and answer it, even for others. However, more than ten years later, after he makes it as a bestselling writer, he begins to tire of it, as everyone wants something from him.

David Sedaris shared Little, Brown and Company's post.
David Sedaris

Here's what we learned this week on the David Sedaris book tour: elephants are sneaky, David Sedaris lives in Sarah's shadow, and...who gave David Sedaris that stamp?

Did #DavidSedaris sign one of your books? Upload with hashtag #DavidSedarisSignedBook for a chance to win some Sedaris swag!

Meet David on tour: ow.ly/tUs930gEu6C
... See MoreSee Less

4 days ago

 

Comment on Facebook

Sir: your book remarks are indeed getting better as your tour goes along! Greg and I enjoyed being first in line at the Sony Centre in Toronto and having "Theft..." and it's art book companion book signed! We thought our inscriptions were very funny but these new ones have me grinning from ear to ear!!! You are not fading on tour yet?!!!! Thanks!

Thank you David for this book!! Been having a hard couple of days, your book has helped to lighten them. I also thank you for your honesty in speaking about Tiffany. It has helped me to better understand my family and the people around me <3

Please come back to Syracuse David! I'm still so mad at myself for not bringing a book for you to sign - ❤️❤️

Great show in Phoenix last night, David. Thanks for the laughs 🙂

Louisville is not in the tour list?

Lara Maria Blair

Domhnall Hegarty

Mollie E Holman

Justin Suelter

Denise Lynn

Maryke Schmidt

Michael Dolan

Charlotte Bocquin Scull

+ View previous comments

Video image

Fresh Air - EP.#53 David Sedaris

youtu.be/T0ktgT-aZ2MNews- Fresh Air - EP.#53 David Sedaris Subscribe: goo.gl/4HNURD G+: goo.gl/cQnogl Sedaris pulls from his decades-old diaries in his latest bo...
... See MoreSee Less

5 days ago

 

Comment on Facebook

Tonight reading, “Theft By Finding,” I got a chuckle (um?) over the list of “reasons to not kill myself” - with “interview with Terry Gross” making the cut. My, how times have changed! ❤️

Mike Pettit, I think this is the interview I told you about

I'm re-listening to all the audiobooks from Audible.com again. Started with Holidays on Ice. The Billie Holiday impressions and younger brother impressions especially have me laughing all over again, something you can't get on the written page.

“Santa no longer traffics in coal.”

Sedaris is one great writer.

He is my favorite.

Love that man!!

Brittney Angeline Jeilani DAVIS

Saalika Khan

+ View previous comments

Nina Stibbe picked David as one of four funny writers you need in your life, today on Emerald Street:

His wonderfully funny essays are often based on memories of his upbringing in a chaotic, lower middle-class family in the suburbs or his own frustrations at just living . . . he is a master

Nina Stibbe picked David as one of four funny writers you need in your life, today on Emerald Street:

'His wonderfully funny essays are often based on memories of his upbringing in a chaotic, lower middle-class family in the suburbs or his own frustrations at just living . . . he is a master'
... See MoreSee Less

1 week ago

 

Comment on Facebook

Love your stuff!

Savannah Penven

Lesley Tissington

David Sedaris shared Little, Brown and Company's post.
David Sedaris

Question: Is it too early to start reading one of the best holiday books ever? We want to spread some holiday JOY ASAP with a HOLIDAYS ON ICE giveaway. 🎅🎄☃️❄️🍪🎁

Click to see how you can win TWO copies of David Sedaris's HOLIDAYS ON ICE—one for you and one for a friend: ow.ly/my8y30gAX2G
... See MoreSee Less

1 week ago

 

Comment on Facebook

Hubby and I get drunk on Christmas Eve and try to read stories to each other. We always end up shouting the word VAMOOSE! And cracking each other up by the end of the night. 😂😂😂❤️❤️❤️

Thaddeus Bristol is my favorite theatre critic, ever! A must-read before you have to endure a kids' Christmas pageant. 🎄🎅

I shared my copy with someone and they never returned it. Thanks for the reminder to pick a new one up!

Absolutely one of the best books ever written and with Michael Granberry as Blisters, a fantastic play!

My daughter just got a Fitbit. I directed her to DS's essay on same. Making exercise even MORE fun! 😉

I listen to this on audiobook every Christmas! "Step on the magic star, and you can see CHER!"

If you haven't listened to an audio version, you really should...

I love this! Macy's Santaland is the funniest.

this is the first David Sedaris book I ever read and one of my absolute favorites!

Better on tape, get the full Billie Holiday effect

If you leave this book out in your house, it will disappear. Someone took mine too.

I’ve always found it best as a cocktail coaster. 😉

I started yesterday. It reminded me that I sure do miss Vicki Buchanan.

Without doubt, the best Christmas book ever.

DS's stint as a Santaland elf is the best thing that's happened to Christmas & to literature 🙂

Emily Rose do we have tickets for Santaland Diaries yet? I’m so excited!

Thanks for signing mine in Houston!

Does anyone know if NPR still plays David reading the Elf chapter on Christmas Eve?

I’ve read this book several times, at the holidays. One of my favorite authors.

Re-read it every year.

I have the one with the bawdy cover. 🙂

never too early 🎄📗💕

"Holiday's on Ice" is David Sedaris' best work.

So funny! My favorite!

One of Sedaris’s best😆

+ View previous comments

David Sedaris shared Little, Brown and Company's post.
David Sedaris

Pardon his French. David Sedaris ... See MoreSee Less

1 week ago

 

Comment on Facebook

I have been dealing with a grade 4 glioblastoma for the past two years. For anyone that is unfamiliar with it it’s one of the worst types of brain cancer you can get. So far I’m doing very well thankfully. Whenever someone asks me how I’m doing I always say “You can’t kill the rooster.”

One of the best books I’ve ever read. Still talking about and recommending it a decade later. Laugh out loud funny, human, real, my kind of book.

This advice has helped me many times. I mean, I also gained some weight, but feeling better was worth it.

“You Can’t Kill the Rooster” is my favorite short story of all time. It has it all, from shrieking hilarity to gentle sweetness. Oh, and profanity. 👍

One of my favorite books. I solo traveled to Paris many years ago and read this book at dinner for three nights. I laughed so hard I had tears rolling down my cheeks.

I love, love, love Sedaris. The first time I heard him on PBS I was laughing so hard I almost ran off the road! His book Naked is a scream. The stories regarding his mom kill me.

This book got me out of a deep funk in high school. My English teacher recommended it and I never looked back. You changed my life sir ❤️

David should be declared a national treasure and maybe also receive honors in his other home countries, notably UK and France. Nobody else comes close.

Agree this book is a gem. But even better, listen to the audio. Nothing better than hearing it in David's voice! My favorite- the "rabbit of Easter"!

One of my all-time favorite books. I re-read it at least once a year (which the author told me was way too many times when I met him at a reading years ago in Oakland).

Hope the chocolate doesn't resemble "Big Boy"!!!! You make me laugh and I love you for it David Sedaris!!!

My late uncle sent out copies of this book to the whole family. He taught lit at Georgetown and recognized the genius of this book.

I'm going to go with this today....😂😂❤️ I loved this book so much! I think I need to read it again. Saw David when he was here in L'ville and came out with a stomach ache I laughed so hard!

In his defense, he's quoting The Rooster. His writing is actually pretty clean. Or my sense of clean is skewed. ...it could be the latter. I love David Sedaris.

There was a part of your book where people from various countries are discussing what Easter is all about- and people had differing opinions of how it all goes down (flying bell? rabbits, chocolate and a man rising from the dead) and I laughed out loud. I could totally relate after spending some time in college, living and studying in Paris- where I was asked by some annoyed Parisians at a dinner (who I didn't know), to explain what was up with our whole American Halloween thing? Why we did it, and the whole trick or treat thing. They asked me to explain some other American customs which we take for granted as well, while they looked on in a very judgmental manner, as I struggled to explain the things we do in (in French). It was more than a little humiliating.

My favorite writer David Sedaris got a "like" from my favorite person Heather Elliott. It's kind of like planets bopping into other planets out in the universe.

I have probably bought more than ten hard copies of this book that I can remember. Best ever to forget what is going on around you, or beach read, but, if you are going through a bad time, it is a fun escape😊

I've always loved his books-and anything else he does. (OMG- Santa Land Diaries!) My dear son, who passed away much too young, once gave me a collection of his CDs for Christmas-a perfect gift. I sometimes listen to them just for the comfort and smiles they bring me. I treasure them even more now.

This is a book that just builds up absurdity upon humanity until you just laugh so hard you fall off your kitchen chair gasping for breath. My daughter and I tried reading the title section out loud at table and really did laugh so hard we fell off our chairs.

"Me Talk Pretty One Day" was recommended to me by a friend. I bought the book and could barely put it down! David Sedaris became one of my favorite authors that day. He never disappoints..............ever!

I got to see him doing a reading at the Morris. I brought one of my books for him to sign, and he stayed until the very last person in line (me) got their books signed. He even drew a little picture! LOVE him!!!!

I just finished his Diaries Volume One and I was not disappointed. Hilarious depictions of his encounters with people on the street, neighbors, and his French class.

You can't kill the rooster!

THE funniest book I've ever read. (Particularly the "me talk prettty" story. I have truly never laughed so hard as Jesus is flying over the heads of little children (or so)

ME TALK PRETTY.... is one of my favorite books to this day. I read it on a flight to L.A. and laughed so hard at some passages due to familiarity. The younger brother that cussed when speaking with the father - funny!

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The @DavidSedaris signing at @WstonesLeeds was great. Interesting man. Asked me who would win if we fought. First time I've been asked that!

The @DavidSedaris signing at @WstonesLeeds was great. Interesting man. Asked me who would win if we fought. First time I've been asked that!

Returned from sick leave to a lovely signed copy of #TheftByFinding from the amazing @DavidSedaris. 💖

Returned from sick leave to a lovely signed copy of #TheftByFinding from the amazing @DavidSedaris. 💖

"To me, every turd that’s not in a toilet is interesting. Every single one of them." @DavidSedaris in @NYMag

A+ personalization from @DavidSedaris. (The cousin = @AvidBookshop.) This made my day!

A+ personalization from @DavidSedaris. (The cousin = @AvidBookshop.) This made my day!

Click for a #HappyEaster excerpt from @DavidSedaris's #TheftByFinding: https://t.co/iLYbxcX11d

Click for a #HappyEaster excerpt from @DavidSedaris's #TheftByFinding: https://t.co/iLYbxcX11d

Want to see @DavidSedaris on his tour? Click for a chance to win 2 tix to an event near you! NoPurNec18+Rules apply https://t.co/Qz8fIBIZEC

Want to see @DavidSedaris on his tour? Click for a chance to win 2 tix to an event near you! NoPurNec18+Rules apply https://t.co/Qz8fIBIZEC

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Phaedra Parks Signs ‘Secrets of the Southern Belle’ + Porsha Stewart Sings!

Friday, April 4th, 2014

Phaedra Parks
We caught up with Phaedra Parks last night as she signed copies of her new book, ‘Secrets of the Southern Belle.’ Phaedra was joined by her mom Pastor Parks plus fellow Real Housewife of Atlanta Porsha Stewart.

Watch the video below to see Porsha sing Happy Birthday to Phaedra’s mom:

Contact Phaedra Parks!

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Comments Comments Off on Phaedra Parks Signs ‘Secrets of the Southern Belle’ + Porsha Stewart Sings!

Mario Batali Signs Book At HomeGoods

Saturday, January 21st, 2012

On Thursday, we caught up with Mario Batali signing copies of his book, Molto Batali: Simple Family Meals from My Home to Yours, at HomeGoods in New York City.  To contact Mario Batali, join Contact Any Celebrity now for instant access to our online database of over 60,000 celebrity addresses and celebrity contacts.

Mario Batali 'Molto Batali: Simple Family Meals from My Home to Yours' Book Signing at HomeGoods in New York City on January 19, 2012

Mario Batali 'Molto Batali: Simple Family Meals from My Home to Yours' Book Signing at HomeGoods in New York City on January 19, 2012

Mario Batali 'Molto Batali: Simple Family Meals from My Home to Yours' Book Signing at HomeGoods in New York City on January 19, 2012

Mario Batali 'Molto Batali: Simple Family Meals from My Home to Yours' Book Signing at HomeGoods in New York City on January 19, 2012

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Jennifer Hudson Signs Book In Illinois

Thursday, January 19th, 2012

On Tuesday, we caught up with Jennifer Hudson at the I Got This: How I Changed My Ways and Lost What Weighed Me Down book signing at Barnes and Noble in Chicago, Illinois.  To contact Jennifer Hudson, join Contact Any Celebrity now for instant access to our online database of over 60,000 celebrity addresses and celebrity contacts.

Jennifer Hudson Signs 'I Got This: How I Changed My Ways and Lost What Weighed Me Down' at Barnes and Noble in Chicago, Illinois on January 17, 2012

Jennifer Hudson Signs 'I Got This: How I Changed My Ways and Lost What Weighed Me Down' at Barnes and Noble in Chicago, Illinois on January 17, 2012

Jennifer Hudson Signs 'I Got This: How I Changed My Ways and Lost What Weighed Me Down' at Barnes and Noble in Chicago, Illinois on January 17, 2012

Jennifer Hudson Signs 'I Got This: How I Changed My Ways and Lost What Weighed Me Down' at Barnes and Noble in Chicago, Illinois on January 17, 2012

Jennifer Hudson Signs 'I Got This: How I Changed My Ways and Lost What Weighed Me Down' at Barnes and Noble in Chicago, Illinois on January 17, 2012

Jennifer Hudson Signs 'I Got This: How I Changed My Ways and Lost What Weighed Me Down' at Barnes and Noble in Chicago, Illinois on January 17, 2012

Jennifer Hudson Signs 'I Got This: How I Changed My Ways and Lost What Weighed Me Down' at Barnes and Noble in Chicago, Illinois on January 17, 2012

Jennifer Hudson Signs 'I Got This: How I Changed My Ways and Lost What Weighed Me Down' at Barnes and Noble in Chicago, Illinois on January 17, 2012

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Jennifer Hudson Signs Book In New York

Thursday, January 12th, 2012

On Wednesday, we caught up with Jennifer Hudson at the I Got This: How I Changed My Ways and Lost What Weighed Me Down book signing at Weight Watchers Center in New York City.  To contact Jennifer Hudson, join Contact Any Celebrity now for instant access to our online database of over 60,000 celebrity addresses and celebrity contacts.

Jennifer Hudson 'I Got This: How I Changed My Ways and Lost What Weighed Me Down' Book Signing at Weight Watchers Center in New York City on January 11, 2012

Jennifer Hudson 'I Got This: How I Changed My Ways and Lost What Weighed Me Down' Book Signing at Weight Watchers Center in New York City on January 11, 2012

Jennifer Hudson 'I Got This: How I Changed My Ways and Lost What Weighed Me Down' Book Signing at Weight Watchers Center in New York City on January 11, 2012

Jennifer Hudson 'I Got This: How I Changed My Ways and Lost What Weighed Me Down' Book Signing at Weight Watchers Center in New York City on January 11, 2012

Jennifer Hudson 'I Got This: How I Changed My Ways and Lost What Weighed Me Down' Book Signing at Weight Watchers Center in New York City on January 11, 2012

Jennifer Hudson 'I Got This: How I Changed My Ways and Lost What Weighed Me Down' Book Signing at Weight Watchers Center in New York City on January 11, 2012

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Donald Trump Signs Book In New York

Saturday, December 10th, 2011

On Friday, we caught up with Donald Trump signing copies of his book, Time to Get Tough: Making America #1 Again, at the Trump International Hotel in New York City.  To contact Donald Trump, join Contact Any Celebrity now for instant access to our online database of over 60,000 celebrity addresses and celebrity contacts.

Donald Trump's 'Time to Get Tough: Making America #1 Again' Book Signing at the Trump International Hotel in New York City on December 9, 2011

Donald Trump's 'Time to Get Tough: Making America #1 Again' Book Signing at the Trump International Hotel in New York City on December 9, 2011

Donald Trump's 'Time to Get Tough: Making America #1 Again' Book Signing at the Trump International Hotel in New York City on December 9, 2011

Donald Trump's 'Time to Get Tough: Making America #1 Again' Book Signing at the Trump International Hotel in New York City on December 9, 2011

Donald Trump 'Time to Get Tough: Making America #1 Again' Book Signing at the Trump International Hotel in New York City on December 9, 2011

Donald Trump's 'Time to Get Tough: Making America #1 Again' Book Signing at the Trump International Hotel in New York City on December 9, 2011

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Teresa Giudice Signs Book In New Jersey

Wednesday, December 7th, 2011

On Tuesday, we caught up with Teresa Giudice from The Real Housewives of New Jersey at the book signing for her cookbook, Fabulicious!: Teresa’s Italian Family Cookbook, at Furrylicious Pet Salon & Boutique in Whitehouse Station, New Jersey.  To contact Teresa Giudice, join Contact Any Celebrity now for instant access to our online database of over 60,000 celebrity addresses and celebrity contacts.

Teresa Giudice's 'Fabulicious!: Teresa's Italian Family Cookbook' Book Signing at Furrylicious Pet Salon & Boutique in Whitehouse Station, New Jersey on December 06, 2011

Teresa Giudice's 'Fabulicious!: Teresa's Italian Family Cookbook' Book Signing at Furrylicious Pet Salon & Boutique in Whitehouse Station, New Jersey on December 06, 2011

Teresa Giudice's 'Fabulicious!: Teresa's Italian Family Cookbook' Book Signing at Furrylicious Pet Salon & Boutique in Whitehouse Station, New Jersey on December 06, 2011

Teresa Giudice's 'Fabulicious!: Teresa's Italian Family Cookbook' Book Signing at Furrylicious Pet Salon & Boutique in Whitehouse Station, New Jersey on December 06, 2011

Teresa Giudice's 'Fabulicious!: Teresa's Italian Family Cookbook' Book Signing at Furrylicious Pet Salon & Boutique in Whitehouse Station, New Jersey on December 06, 2011

Teresa Giudice's 'Fabulicious!: Teresa's Italian Family Cookbook' Book Signing at Furrylicious Pet Salon & Boutique in Whitehouse Station, New Jersey on December 06, 2011

Teresa Giudice's 'Fabulicious!: Teresa's Italian Family Cookbook' Book Signing at Furrylicious Pet Salon & Boutique in Whitehouse Station, New Jersey on December 06, 2011

Teresa Giudice's 'Fabulicious!: Teresa's Italian Family Cookbook' Book Signing at Furrylicious Pet Salon & Boutique in Whitehouse Station, New Jersey on December 06, 2011

Teresa Giudice's 'Fabulicious!: Teresa's Italian Family Cookbook' Book Signing at Furrylicious Pet Salon & Boutique in Whitehouse Station, New Jersey on December 06, 2011

Teresa Giudice's 'Fabulicious!: Teresa's Italian Family Cookbook' Book Signing at Furrylicious Pet Salon & Boutique in Whitehouse Station, New Jersey on December 06, 2011

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